This piece was a struggle. Boy, was it a struggle. My initial flow on the canvas was to a song Creating a Dream by Xavier Rudd.
I cleaned my brushes, washed my hands covered in paint, and let the canvas sit for a couple days. "What am I doing?" I'd ask myself. "This looks like crap! Ugh!"
Another layer of colors on the canvas. Still not what I envisioned. Getting frustrated.
The third try I went a different direction and created mountains, feathers, sun, clouds. Still not the direction I was hoping to go. Now I'm getting annoyed.
I felt like I was trying too hard. I was forcing it. It didn't feel right. I wasn't enjoying the process. More like a chore.
Again, I stepped away and let the painting sit on my easel to dry and rest.
Sigh. "Maybe I should just stop." I'd whisper under my breath.
Back to the canvas. The fourth layer. Blurring the colors with my thick brush to make it look like a different dimension. Kind of like walking through a rainy twilight zone.
It still wasn't what I was going after. "Seriously? What the heck!"
Brush and spray bottle to the fifth layer of paint. This time it felt different and finally I was going in the direction I intended to go. I had the canvas vertical during the process and then flipped it horizontally and it gave it a different perspective. Kind of like an aroura borealis view. That's kind of dreamy! I mean when you see the Aurora for the first time, it's magical. I set the painting aside again for a day or two. Returned to it and then settled in the flow. I started enjoying the process of Creating a Dream, so I thought.
One of the lines in Creating a Dream is "Please, patience please" - I find that kind of funny on this side of the painting experience. This project did teach me patience for sure!
Finally after eight or nine layers of struggle and frustration the painting reached completion. Creating a Dream melded into clearly 3 Roads . I allowed the music to move through and tell me something. This particular song has three parts to it. So that is what I did with the painting. Broke it into three parts and interpreted the music to paint and texture. I experimented using household items within those three different layers.
Top layer- is part of the original layers from the beginning of this project. It's sprayed with water to give a rain affect (Power of nature - The rain, thunder, lightening, and nourishing the earth).
Middle layer - Taped to give straight line of some sort. The circles were created by dipping a small drinking glass and espresso cup rim into the paint then pressed onto the canvas (Circle of the drums, the heartbeat and circle of life).
Bottom layer - Again taped to give a straight line. I used a fancy veggie cutter to give a kind of rick-rack line with different colors. I was a bit frustrated with the bottom layer because it just wasn't flowing so I covered it with gold shimmery paint. I wanted the colors underneath to come through. By using a citrus zester I it raked through the gold paint to create a uniform texture and somewhat straight lines (The sound of the digeridoo driving lines through the layers of paint to the foundation below. The roots, deep history, and storytelling).
The painting finally resonated telling a story.
Thoughts of trying to hard at the beginning to Create a Dream: I was feeling competition with myself and was focusing too much on perfection. The complete opposite of intuitive painting. This was good practice to experience and I learned so much about myself in the process.
I guess it's how we feel sometimes in life. We let too much cloud our brains and try to hard to fix or force something, which causes us to get frustrated, worry, stir, or freeze in our tracks. Feeling stuck.
I was definitely stuck. So I leaned into being patient with myself. "Please, patience please." Breathe. Just breathe. I had to remind myself that this wasn't a competition. This wasn't a test. This wasn't homework. This wasn't rocket science. This was something to enjoy.
During this reflection time while painting and writing, I find myself revisiting childhood. My younger self is there painting within me. She makes me smile and helps me not get into my head to much.
The 3 Roads - Three textures, three different techniques, three stories, three layers or three of whatever the admirer sees in this painting.
Thanks to Xavier Rudd for your incredible music (love the digeridoo), lyrics, compassion, spirit of peace, love, and honoring the Indigenous Australians. Each song is unique and inspiring. Enjoy this moving and driven piece 3 Roads (three different segments of music) May it inspire you as well.
With gratitude,
Bridged
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